


Lonely

by Lady_of_Frost



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Avenger! Reader, F/M, Language, Sexual Content, mentions of trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 04:55:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29254806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_of_Frost/pseuds/Lady_of_Frost
Summary: You and Bucky are experiencing a similar loneliness on a sleepless night.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	1. Much Needed Self-Love

A rough, calloused hand moved up and down Bucky’s dick slowly.  
The man’s hand felt strange, but not unwelcoming to the super soldier.  
Bucky groaned softly as a thumb swiped across his head.  
He grips his pillow with his metal hand as the hand continues it’s slow, teasing motions. Bucky allows himself to close his eyes, and lean his head back against the pillow.  
A sound catches in Bucky’s throat and the hand stops.  
“Please,” Bucky manages quietly.  
The motion’s resume and Bucky’s shoulders relax, “That’s good,” Bucky murmurs.  
The sounds of the lube being rubbed up and down his dick fill his ears. The movements start to grow a little faster, and the sensations surprise Bucky, but he wants to keep going.  
It’s been so long since he’s been touched like this.  
“Fuck, it’s so good,” Bucky moans.  
The large hand makes a few long, slow strokes up and down him before returning to short, swift strokes. His breathing becomes heavy and he shifts his legs in his bed.  
Then his muscles in his abdomen tighten the more desperate he becomes for release. Bucky starts to thrust up into the hand and opens his mouth to moan out his pleasure.  
He’s so close now.  
So close.  
Thoughts of her suddenly enter his mind.  
Of her smile.  
And those tight, fucking leggings she wore in training today.  
My God.  
They were pink and hugged her ass perfectly, he swears he could make out every dimple in her thighs. No, he shouldn’t be thinking of…the way his arms fit around her shoulders when they were sparring.  
Bucky breathes heavily and squeezes his eyes tighter.  
And he definitely shouldn’t be thinking of the way the sweat formed on her skin and trickled all the way down her breasts…Or the look of surprise on her face as he pinned her to the mat…  
Bucky groans loudly as he finally cums and continues to stroke himself through it until he can’t stand anymore. He catches his breath for a moment and then looks down at where he had cum all over his stomach. Bucky exhales slowly and removes his hand from around his dick and reaches over to his nightstand to grab some tissues to clean himself up. He then wipes his hand with more tissues and tosses them all into the garbage can nearby.  
He leans back against the pillow and just breathes heavily for another moment.  
His hand still feels like a stranger to him, but less so than before…  
He stares up at the ceiling and tucks his metal hand under his head.  
He had hoped this would wear him out enough so that he could get some sleep.  
Bucky’s facing another bout of insomnia and despite already working out today that didn’t tire him out enough. He glances down at himself and swallows, he should probably actually get cleaned up. Bucky stands and makes his way to his bathroom and runs a washcloth under some warm water.  
He hisses as it makes contact with his dick.  
Still a little sensitive.  
He slowly wipes himself down until he’s gotten rid of the lube and the cum and then rinses the washcloth off and throws it in the hamper. Bucky washes his hands next and makes eye contact with himself in the mirror. He cracks a small smile at how his hair got matted down a bit from the sweat. Drying his hands, he combs his fingers through his long locks as he heads back to bed.  
He pulls the covers back up his waist and stares at the ceiling some more.  
He blinks a couple times, he thought about her while he was…Ahem.  
Well, it’s not like he doesn’t find the woman attractive, it’s just not very professional to think of your teammate that way.  
Women in his day never wore pants like that.  
It leaves nothing to the imagination.  
Oh, not nothing, but…to be fair women in his day wore stockings which were also just as sexy and commonplace as leggings are these days.  
God, whoever invented leggings was a genius.  
A Goddamn Genius.  
Then Bucky remembers the frown on her face as she tried in vain to break out of his grip.

“Come on you can do it,” Bucky encouraged.  
She tried again to push him off before going limp, “I can’t, Bucky.”  
There was a crack in her voice and a look in her eyes that made Bucky pause.  
He sits up on his knees and stares at her as she sits up as well.  
“Hey, you ok?” he asks.  
She hugs her knees to her chest, “I’m fine,” she says half-heartedly.  
“No, you’re not, you wanna talk about it?” Bucky asks.  
She shook her head swiftly.  
He stands, “Alright, we’re done for the day,” he says holding out his right hand to her.  
She stares up at him and then takes his offered hand.  
He pulls her to her feet.  
The feel of her much smaller hand in his is not lost on him.  
“You gonna be good for our upcoming mission?” Bucky asks.  
Panic crosses her features, “Of course, Sergeant Barnes! I promise I’ll get this under control by then.”  
“Whoa, hey, it’s alright. I’m not trying to get you in trouble, and please call me Bucky, all my friends do,” he says placing a hand on his chest.  
She smiles a little at that, “Alright, Bucky…”  
“What’s going on with you, huh?” he asks gently and places his right hand on her upper arm.  
She gives a small shrug, “I just can’t sleep lately, please don’t get me pulled off the mission.”  
“Wouldn’t dream of it, Doll,” Bucky says, “Besides it’s a two-person mission, there shouldn’t even be any explosions.”  
She lets out a small laugh and smiles at him.  
He loves her smile.  
It’s the kind of smile that could light up a whole room, and he’s been trying ever since he met her to get her to smile every chance he gets.  
“If you ever do need to talk, I’m here to listen, okay?” Bucky asks tilting his head low enough to meet her at eye level.  
She nods, “Okay.”  
“Good,” Bucky says removing his hand from her arm.  
He starts to turn away.  
“Um,” she mutters.  
“Yeah?” he asks raising a brow.  
He’s hoping he maybe convinced her to open up.  
“Can I…no, it’s silly,” she says.  
“I guarantee you it’s not silly, whatever it is,” Bucky says reassuringly.  
She looks up at him with renewed hope, “Can I have a hug?”  
Bucky immediately closes the distance and she opens her arms to him. His arms wrap around her and he pulls her close. She squeezes him really tightly and then slowly loosens her grip.  
The two stay like that for a few moments.

Long enough in fact for Sam to walk into the gym and raise an eyebrow at the scene in front of him. Bucky hears him of course and glares at Sam and his knowing smile as he sets his gym bag down. Which gets the attention of the woman in his arms and she breaks apart from Bucky.  
“Oh hey, Sam,” she greets.  
“Hey, it’s nice to see the two of you getting along so well. Bucky here doesn’t have a lot of friends or a girlfriend for that matter,” Sam says.  
She chuckles at Sam’s light teasing, “I’m surprised a man like him’s single.”  
Bucky narrows his eyes at Sam’s comment, “Don’t,” he mouthes.  
“Well, I should go shower,” she says turning back to Bucky and patting her thighs, “Thanks for training with me,” she says and clears her throat awkwardly.  
“No problem, Doll, I’m here if you need me,” Bucky says.  
Sam watches silently as he loads weight onto the bar in front of him.  
She smiles at Bucky and then proceeds to grab her things and head out of the gym.  
Bucky walks towards Sam and calls after her, “Hey, you got my number, right?”  
“Definitely,” she says glancing over her shoulder at him with a smile.  
“Just text me if you ever want to train more, Doll,” Bucky says.  
“Will do,” she says as she leaves the gym.  
Sam finishes putting weight on the bar, “So what was that all about?”  
“She’s just having a rough day is all,” Bucky answers.  
“Mmhm,” Sam hums, “Will you spot me?”  
“Oh yeah sure,” Bucky says and stands behind the bar, “And it’s not like that.”  
Sam lies down on the weight bench and begins his reps.  
When Sam takes a break and sits up, Bucky pipes up again, “So is she new…to the team?”  
Sam looks back at him and raises an eyebrow, “She’s been on the team longer than you.”  
“Really? I don’t remember her,” Bucky says glancing towards the door.  
“She joined after the Sokovia Accords, Maria and Natasha recommended her,” Sam explains.  
Bucky nods his head, “Oh.”  
“She was there when we fought Thanos though,” Sam continues.  
“Reaallly?” Bucky asks still staring at the door, “Huh, must not have noticed her. There was a lot...going on at the time.”  
“Yeah,” Sam says before taking a sip of water.  
Bucky turns his attention back to Sam, “So she’s been on the team what? Seven? Eight years?”  
Sam pauses and makes a face, “Technically…only two, she…” he pauses and sighs before snapping his fingers, “Just like us.”  
“Ohhh…okay,” Bucky mutters turning his head back to the door.  
She’s been suffering from insomnia.  
Which Bucky knows is code for nightmares.  
“She just got cleared for duty not too long ago,” Sam explains.  
Bucky nods.  
“You seem interested in her,” Sam notes.  
“What?” Bucky asks turning to look back at him, “Nooo.”  
“Says the guy who called her “Doll,”” Sam points out.  
Sam’s timer for his break goes off.  
“Listen, she’s just a nice gal is all, and besides like you said I don’t have a lot of friends so…” Bucky says.  
“Or a girlfriend,” Sam adds with a smile.  
“Alright, break time’s over,” Bucky says patting Sam on the back.  
Sam laughs as he lies back on the bench, “I just think she might be good for you, and you oughtta get to know her is all.”  
“I didn’t say I wasn’t gonna get to know her,” Bucky says defensively.

Bucky reaches over for his phone on the nightstand and opens his messages.


	2. A Welcome Distraction

You pant and arch your back while your free hand fists the sheets.   
Fuck, you’re so close.  
So…so close.  
You rub yourself faster as you ride the waves of pleasure wracking your body. You can feel yourself clench tighter and tighter and you let out a frustrated groan.   
You toss your head back onto the pillow, “Oh please,” you whine, “Just one more.”  
You know you’ve got it in you but you need something to push you over the edge. You try to think of something to fuel your orgasm and Bucky comes to mind.   
The way he grunted in your ear makes your skin grow hotter.   
You rub even faster desperate for release.   
God, the way his firm body was pressed against yours when he had his arm wrapped around your shoulders. Your ass had pressed into his groin as you flexed and tried to use your lower center of gravity to escape his grapple.   
And when you did there was a proud little smirk on his face.  
You groan, you want Bucky’s body pressed against you now.  
You want his gruff voice calling you Sweetheart and…what was that he said earlier?  
Doll.  
He called you Doll.  
What if it was his rough hand between you thighs instead?  
Your abdomen clenches tightly and you moan loudly as you orgasm.  
“Oh fuck!” you cry out.  
Your cries start to get softer as your climax drops back down and you stop touching yourself, too overwhelmed to continue.   
You take a deep, shuddering breath and close your eyes for a moment.  
You then swallow and open your eyes.  
Pulling the covers up to your chin, you turn to the empty side of your bed.   
You ball your fist into the comforter, unhappy with how soft it is.   
You used to like soft things, but now it just feels like it’s going to slip through your fingers. You reach your hand up and lay your palm flat against your wooden headboard, it’s cold to the touch, but it’s solid.   
You relax a little.   
You familiarize yourself with the wood grain again as your breathing steadies. After a little while you lower your hand and tuck it under your chin.   
Five. Orgasms. And you still don’t feel sleepy.  
You had managed to fall asleep initially but bad dreams ripped you from a restful sleep. At least this had distracted you somewhat, you had just needed to feel something good, something pleasant. And something that would help anchor you back in this world, you’ve felt so unmoored ever since…no.   
You don’t want to think about it, your nightmare is too fresh in your mind for that right now. You roughly rub your thumbs on both of your palms, they’re both still there.  
You’re still here.  
You then proceed to rub your hands over the rest of your body, and then you slowly caress yourself. Which is how you had ended up in this position in the first place.   
Your body is solid and not…not dust.  
You tuck your hands back under your head and curl up, taking a few, slow breaths. 

Your room lights up with a dim glow and you turn over to stare at your phone behind you. You reach over and pick it up and squint at your messages.  
Bucky?  
“Hey, Doll,” the message reads.  
You see that there are tiny ellipses, indicating that he’s still typing.  
“If you see this tomorrow morning then disregard this message. But if you’re still awake like I think you are, then I’m here for you. If you need to talk that is,” the second message reads.  
You stare at the messages for a moment, wondering if you should respond. You could easily just wait until tomorrow morning to respond to the message.   
This is all because of how you acted in training earlier today.  
You couldn’t keep a lid on it and now you’ve worried your new teammate, but it would also be nice to confide in someone. Besides, it’s actually kind of sweet that Bucky’s worried about you.   
You sigh and start typing back slowly.  
“Hey, Bucky. I am actually still awake,” you text.  
You stare at your phone for a long moment and the dots appear again.  
“Can’t sleep?” Bucky asks.  
“No, not for a lack of trying though,” you say.  
“Me neither,” Bucky says, “Bad dreams?”  
You stare silently at the phone for another moment, long enough that you get another response.  
“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, I’ve had my fair share,” Bucky says.  
“I just don’t want to burden you with my problems,” you say.  
“You’re not a burden, Doll,” Bucky says.  
You smile a little, “It’s the same recurring dream I’ve been having for a couple months now. I’ve discussed it with my therapist.”  
“I’m sorry you had a bad dream, but it’s good to hear you’re talking about it. Even now,” Bucky says.  
“Thanks, Bucky,” you text pulling the covers up to your chin, “Thanks for checking in on me.”  
“Of course,” Bucky texts, “You...want to train some more with me tomorrow? It might help get your mind off things.”  
You smile wider, “Yeah, I’d like that. Thanks for the hug earlier by the way, I really needed it.”  
“Of course, Doll, you ever want another hug I’m here and besides I’m told I give great hugs,” Bucky says.  
You chuckle a little to yourself, “You do give great hugs.”  
“See? I’ll see you tomorrow for training, try to get some sleep in the meantime ok?” Bucky asks.  
“I’ll try,” you say.  
“Goodnight, Doll,” Bucky says.  
“Goodnight, Bucky,” you say.  
You read back over your messages again.  
He called you Doll again.  
You smile and set your phone back down, stretching you slip out of bed and head for your shower. 

You close the bathroom door and then turn on the water. You need to clean up anyways and a hot shower will probably help calm you down enough to sleep. You turn your hands over in the water as it heats up and once it’s warm enough, you step into the spray.   
You sigh as you turn around and let the hot water coat your shoulders.   
The warm water does make you instantly feel better as it cascades down your body. You stare down at the drain and pinch your brows together, why would Bucky call you Doll? It probably doesn’t mean anything right?   
Yeah, it’s probably a common nickname he gives out to people and nothing special.   
That’s got to be it.   
You rub your fingers into your shoulders and massage down your body. It does feel nice to be called that though. Especially by such a handsome man as Bucky, handsome, sweet, strong. He’s the total package that would make any woman fall for him, a real heartbreaker for sure. You ought to be careful so he doesn’t break yours without ever meaning to.   
He is single though.  
You huff, as if you’d have a chance.  
That requires you both being interested in each other first, and you’re also not exactly…ready, for a relationship at the moment.   
You just got back after being dead for five years.   
After being dust for five years.  
You inhale sharply and set your hand on the tile shower wall.  
You trace the patterns in the grout and try to get your breathing under control. You listen to the sounds of the water from the showerhead above you, and feel the water rolling down your body and the tile under your fingertips.   
Slowly, but surely, you calm down again.  
What kind of man would want you anyways?  
Granted, half the world is going through the same thing as you are right now so you know that there are people that are going to be understanding, statistically speaking. But…but Bucky’s been through enough shit in his own life, he doesn’t need you adding your shit to it. He deserves someone less broken.   
You turn to face the shower and focus on what you had come in here to do, cleaning yourself up.   
When you feel how wet you still are between your legs, you bite back a moan.  
Then you realize that you don’t have to be quiet.  
You may share a wall with Clint, but he’s not here right now. In fact, most of the time he’s gone either on missions or at home and only sleeps in that room when he has to. Which means you can be as loud as you want and no one will hear you.   
You start to stroke yourself again.  
Bucky’s really been so sweet to you, and you really like that he calls you, Doll, it’s doing things to you.   
Good things.   
Why does he have to so handsome? And have such a sexy voice? It’s not fair to a lonely lady like yourself.


End file.
